Maureen (00:02.532)
Welcome to another episode of Sober Fit Life. I am so excited today to bring you a client, Travis Griffin. I'm going to call him my first brave client who has agreed and wants to tell his story. And I'm so excited. I've loved working with Travis. I've seen him make so many changes and he wants to come on here and share his story and his experience. So I'm going to take it away. I'm going let Travis take it away. Would you?
introduce yourself, Travis, and just tell us a little bit about you and we can go from there.
Travis Griffin (00:38.308)
do this thing. All right. Yeah, I'm your first brave client, as you said. But I honestly don't consider it very brave because what a difference a year makes. So I'm 48. I sometimes confuse whether I'm 48 or 49. think I'm 48. And I have a couple boys, 21 and 19.
Maureen (00:39.545)
Yeah.
Travis Griffin (01:07.964)
and I'm married and I mean I have lots of different jobs and tasks and things that I do but I don't know that that's really terribly interesting to your people. What's more interesting to your listeners probably would be how I was able through your assistance to kind of get over this hurdle that was a major obstacle.
Maureen (01:32.74)
Yeah, like take it back to, you before you sought out coaching, before we started working together, how were you feeling? You were kind of coming to the end of your drinking and something. What occurred? Do know that you're like, have to do something about this?
Travis Griffin (01:49.42)
Well, it had been like probably many folks that eventually realized that there's a problem they can't seem to solve. And the word I would use would be inevitability. Not in a good way. just daily you'd wake up and it was just inevitable. You were going to be weak and you were going to fail and you were going to drink that day. No matter how hard you tried, no matter how many things
Maureen (02:06.0)
Mm-hmm.
it
Travis Griffin (02:18.98)
You tried to put in place to help you be successful But that was my daily routine wake up likely with a hangover Try to be functional and productive at work try to be functional productive as a husband and a father And then try to do self-care for myself there wasn't much of any of that happening at a very high level so that was just
Maureen (02:44.526)
Right. And actually the self-care at that point was kind of like wine, right? Like that was sort of self-care.
Travis Griffin (02:50.34)
Yeah, wine. Wine was my self-care. It's a lot cheaper these days without wine. Self-care. But yeah, so, you know, I'm sure it's similar for other folks with this issue is you wake up, you feel like garbage, you feel like a failure because you really tried not to drink last night or you really tried not to drink too much last night and you failed.
Maureen (02:54.256)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen (02:57.923)
Right?
Maureen (03:14.458)
Mm-hmm.
Travis Griffin (03:19.224)
And I use that word, I'm going change that word later on, but at the time that's how I looked at it, right? And then you struggle for the next eight hours trying to survive through the rest of the day doing your job or doing whatever your responsibilities are. And all you could do at the end of that eight hours is start thinking about, man, I need to start drinking again to get past this anxiety that's built up.
Maureen (03:21.892)
Right? That's how you felt.
Travis Griffin (03:48.814)
this inevitability of failure. I need to cope and I need that wine. And thank God there's so much wine available. And thank God it's everywhere you go. And everybody says it's cool to drink. So we're all good here. And that was just a daily kind of routine. And it'd be getting worse and worse throughout the last couple of years. I had numerous times tried to just will myself.
to stop drinking and you know consistently when the most you can go without drinking is four days at least in my case for me that was recognition of a larger issue and you know that when you're drinking and you're in the fog of war you can't do self-analysis you have no awareness
of why you're truly drinking. certainly can't work on yourself. Man, I was in therapy. I was in therapy not for drinking, but I mean, I've been in therapy for years. I'm a big advocate for therapy. I have a psychology degree, so I love everything about self analysis and really digging into why certain human behaviors occur. But at the same time, I had this thing that I couldn't
you my life and we might get into some of that is is was full of heighten responsibility I would say but it's probably no different from anybody else
Maureen (05:25.264)
Yeah, I'm going to jump in right there. Yeah, I just want to say you're describing, you you're like 95 % of the population. You're high functioning, you're busy, you're educated, you do take care of yourself, you were going to therapy, you were, you know, getting your workouts in here and there. People wouldn't look at you and say, you know, Travis needs to go to rehab or he needed medical intervention, but you knew, you were aware that you weren't living up to your potential. That's definitely that gray area, drinking.
Travis Griffin (05:49.604)
Yeah. Yeah.
Maureen (05:54.948)
category that we always talk about. Yeah.
Travis Griffin (06:00.408)
That's perfectly said. It's, which is part of the problem, I think, in society is that.
Maureen (06:06.522)
Mm-hmm.
Travis Griffin (06:10.18)
You know, you're always aware of that person who overdoes it at a party or out in public or, or whatnot. Um, you're always aware of, that person's got a problem. But like you said, 95 % of the other people, may not ever really get to that point, but when they get home, if they haven't driven drunk and died on the way there, um, when they get home, it's survival mode. And that's the part that.
Maureen (06:20.048)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen (06:32.004)
Mm-hmm.
Travis Griffin (06:39.202)
nobody else sees. I've got a lot of friends that drink socially or occasionally and for the most part when I would be with them there was nothing that stood out as like, my god that person's got a problem. Man, what's my problem? Why can't I hold this liquor? Why can't I say no?
Maureen (06:40.997)
Right.
Travis Griffin (07:08.228)
And then I'd go home and stew about it and feel like garbage and that only compelled me to drink more.
Maureen (07:13.712)
So you were feeling, yeah, that would compel you to drink more. come home by yourself and then you would drink more because you felt bad. Yeah. It's kind of like the what the hell effect, you know, what the hell.
Travis Griffin (07:19.726)
Yeah. yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, the sunk kind of a sunk cost right now that well I've already drank this much I might I'll stop tomorrow, you know, I'll do better tomorrow But it looks like I've got another two hours on my clock. So let's go ahead and get some more in because that's not technically tomorrow And that didn't do you any favors and then the next day was even worse So just just that routine that was my routine I was functional I was productive Yeah and and people would look at me in this
Maureen (07:26.224)
Just drink more. Right.
Maureen (07:39.557)
Right?
No. All right.
Maureen (07:49.988)
The cycle.
Travis Griffin (07:55.384)
They would say this guy's friendly, he's smart, he's great looking, he's got beautiful smile. No, they don't ever say that, but they really, I don't even know where I was going. See what happens when you start talking about how humble you are, yeah.
Maureen (08:00.462)
He's funny.
Maureen (08:08.208)
Ha ha!
Maureen (08:13.584)
Well, so you know you're in this cycle, you were in it for years. I know you're feeling really bad about yourself. What made you decide I've got to see something outside of myself and how did you find me?
Travis Griffin (08:27.3)
There was a couple, I would say external, I use the word pressure lightly because I don't, this wasn't a ultimatum from external forces. It was never like that. It was always, you know, care and understanding, at least in my mind, or that's what I told myself. They're not, they're not giving me ultimatums. And what I mean by they is I used to not,
I started drinking very late in life, mid thirties, kind of after my first marriage ended, not because of drinking, but and I started, I've actually heard some of your other guests talk about the same kind of thing where it's like a second life and they go, they go all in, right? That like the life they never felt like they had, maybe they got married very young or, or, or they were in school or whatever it might've been.
The same thing for me. I didn't drink at all. In fact, I had like the superiority complex over people that did drink because I had been exposed to negative drinking behavior as a child. And I said, not me. I'm never doing that. I'm never going to be embarrassed and I'm never going to look like that. But then in my mid thirties, when I had this life Renaissance, I started
going socially as many in that age group do to parties and get togethers and just to meet people and everything in society revolves around alcohol. It's crazy. And it's acceptable. And so that's what I would do. And it just, I didn't realize what I was setting up. I was planting the seeds. And then decade later, drinking had become
Maureen (10:09.398)
Everything. Yep.
Travis Griffin (10:27.18)
routine part of life, both socially and at home, sometimes on my own. When I started really knowing I had an issue is when I started hiding and sneaking and replacing bottles of wine with the exact same bottle of wine before, you know, my wife would get home. So, I mean, those are, those are signs that other people have probably, maybe they haven't done, but when you start recognizing those signs,
Maureen (10:52.036)
Yeah. Nope. I've heard that from clients. Definitely. Yeah.
Travis Griffin (10:57.38)
It's such a psychological punch in the face because you just have no empathy for yourself. You do these actions and you just think you're the worst and then you get right back into what you said that sunk cost will screw it. Might as well finish this bottle off. I don't want it half visible. Then she's going to know that I opened the bottle of wine, but if it's completely gone and I've hidden it.
Maureen (11:07.748)
Yeah, you're so hard on yourself.
Maureen (11:16.73)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen (11:22.062)
Right.
Travis Griffin (11:26.948)
I never know. Meanwhile, I'm friggin' drunk, cause I had three and a half, four glasses of wine. Whatever. You're just stupid. You also do really stupid things. Yes.
Maureen (11:29.912)
Right. Right. Right. I think a lot of us fool ourselves like that. Yeah. Well, yeah, we fool ourselves. You know, after the first glass, you're not, you're already not thinking right. And then the alcohol is, you know, creates a desire for itself. So you want to drink more. And especially, and we talk about this a lot when you link it to sadness, trauma, stress, you know, that kind of thing, then it starts to become this routine. But so you're in this
cycle, you're feeling this way, feeling terrible. And how did you find me? This is a kind of a funny story I want you to share. You were listening to podcasts, but I think you're listening for your wife.
Travis Griffin (12:06.83)
Yes, so.
I was. I love my wife and she's a physician and she desperately wanted to leave corporate medicine, had for many, many years and start her own business, which she had recently done and started a med spa. And I had seen a tremendous change in her mindset and her happiness and her dream. You could tell that she was dreaming again.
Maureen (12:13.988)
you
Travis Griffin (12:39.426)
rather than her daily routine of going to a workplace she didn't want to go. So, you know, she's the physician, she's the one poking people and I'm the one behind the scenes, you know, you know, with, business degrees and those kinds of things. just wanting to help my wife succeed at all costs. So one of those things I would do is I would listen to industry, industry related podcasts, but also because part of our brand,
was really selling the idea of a woman owned, a woman entrepreneur owned and operated business. And you know, the struggles and trials that someone has to face, you know, there's a lot of opportunity there too. Don't get me wrong, but you got to capitalize on just a lot of competition. But to see my wife want to try to succeed in that, in that realm, I wanted to do everything in my power.
Maureen (13:13.69)
Mm-hmm.
Travis Griffin (13:38.53)
to learn how to help her do that. And one of those things was just listening to podcasts, one of the podcasts, and I would listen to podcasts about women entrepreneurship.
Maureen (13:47.716)
Women. And this was a doctor's podcast I was on. The female doctor, Dr. Sarah Poldmay, shout out to her. And it was about women's health and she's like an alternative medicine doctor. And I think we were even talking about menopause on that specific episode.
Travis Griffin (13:55.203)
Yeah.
Travis Griffin (14:04.694)
My favorite subject, I I can't get enough of it. I mean, that was probably my third menopause thing in a row and your voice. And I knew this one was different. No,
Maureen (14:13.594)
So when you were listening to it, you told me that then you shifted from listening for your wife to, a minute, what this coach is saying here, I'm starting to relate to.
Travis Griffin (14:24.908)
Yeah. But let me back up. Let me back up just one little piece. You know, I had a pretty vast queue of podcasts that I had downloaded and tagged to listen to. And this one was just one of the many that were there. And alcohol, I don't remember the exact title of the podcast, but alcohol was in the either in the title or the little brief description.
Maureen (14:27.343)
Yeah.
Travis Griffin (14:54.008)
I don't know if it was the physiology of the impact of alcohol. don't remember exactly what it was, but this podcast would constantly, you know, be on my, my thing as I'd skew or scroll through them. And there was something in me that kept not wanting to click it because I didn't want to like, like we'll talk about, I'm sure you've probably talked about on many podcasts at this point, holding that mirror up to yourself is,
is maybe one of the hardest things to do metaphorically. And I felt, yeah, I don't want to push this thing. I don't want to know. I want to know, but I don't want to know. ultimately, you know, I got through my true crime stuff and I'm like, all right, I'm going to do it. I'm going in. And so I clicked it and I was just kind of vaguely listening. The idea that you had been a personal trainer that
Maureen (15:26.16)
Yeah, it's the awareness.
Yeah, I don't want to know.
Maureen (15:39.856)
Ha
Travis Griffin (15:52.386)
And you guys are really talking about the science, you know, blood brain barriers and stuff like that. And that stuff excites me because I really, truly definitively love, that, that stone hard facts of science and studies and peer reviewed information. And you and her had a very cerebral conversation about the things the first time I'd heard.
Maureen (16:07.172)
Right, me too.
Travis Griffin (16:21.12)
Alcohol equated to a toxin. I think you probably said that and At that point I really tuned in and started listening how Your story first off, you know working hard watching the hypocrisy of or the irony of watching what you eat all week and doing 150 grams of protein daily and working out and just getting all buff
Maureen (16:23.502)
Mm hmm. Yeah.
Travis Griffin (16:47.62)
And then Friday comes along, all right, it's party time on a binge drink until Monday or whatever it was. I'm like, I get that. I understand that. Um, so it gave you a sense of credibility that that coupled with the idea that you're a woman entrepreneur on a woman entrepreneurs podcast and talking about the science and the physiology behind the impact of alcohol. I was like the perfect.
Maureen (16:50.842)
Blow it
Travis Griffin (17:15.108)
It was like the hat trick for me. I mean those are the those are the three it was meant to be So I listened to that and I went home and told my wife that night about that podcast and That I was kind of excited Like I think she could help me if nothing else. She might have some some pointers again at this point Was the first hope I think I've had in years
Maureen (17:17.188)
was meant to be. Yeah.
Travis Griffin (17:44.834)
Because again, that word inevitability was just, it was my mindset, inevitability of failure. I'm going to fail, I can't go more than four days, and it's a struggle just those four days. All the things that you think you're supposed to do to stop weren't working, because they probably don't work in general anyway, unless you start really picking at the core root of the causes and stuff.
That is why I selected you. It's just everything lined up. Science, experience, in the same, to make it in this world on your own as a small business owner. My father was a small business owner, and I just have a lot of empathy for how hard it is to go out and do something you're passionate about. So I could hear the passion, and yeah, rest is history.
Maureen (18:37.248)
I love how supportive you are of your wife's business and women entrepreneurs. And, you know, we would talk business too in our coaching. But so I guess what you're saying is you had tried willpower, you had tried to make it happen and it wasn't happening. And then you'd go into that cycle of feeling bad, drinking again. And so when we started working together, we did go to that core, right? We started breaking it down and we started talking about why you drink. Because it's rarely ever the alcohol itself.
It's what's behind the alcohol. What are you numbing from? What are you running away from? What are you resisting kind of thing? And you were so open. mean, your willingness to be vulnerable and share and do the work, just to always impress me. And that's why you're doing so well. But why don't you share, your experience of coaching and how that started to transform you and change.
Travis Griffin (19:33.858)
Well, at least I've never been with another alcohol cessation coaching method, so I don't know. But your version is very, I want to say regulated, but very...
I don't it's a very agendized. You have an agenda and you might have to go different ways to get to where you want at the end of that coaching session, but you have a plan. know, I don't, speaking only for myself, super hasty generalization here. You know, when I hear someone is a coach, don't have, my first thought is not credibility. All right. So, and I've met a lot of people.
Maureen (19:51.6)
Mm-hmm.
Travis Griffin (20:20.024)
that are coaches of a thing that they seem like they're shooting from the hip throughout everything. But your style was not that. It was clear from day one that your experience and your education really informed how you were going to help guide this process. So I registered that right away. It was
Maureen (20:31.568)
Thank you.
Travis Griffin (20:49.036)
It was exactly the mesh that I needed because I bought into you pretty quickly. Certainly by the second one, I was like, all right, I think I can do something here. So we had the free consultation, which is a great way to just find out if this is going to do. And that's always the hardest first thing. I I felt hopeful when I was excited. I was actually excited when I signed up for that.
Maureen (21:06.479)
if we're gonna click.
Maureen (21:17.872)
great.
Travis Griffin (21:20.834)
because it was just so hopeless without it. it was the, I had tried everything. AA, there's some other thing, it's not AA, but it's more cerebral based and all good things, all good tools, if it works for you, fantastic. But nothing was working for me. And I even knew what it was doing to me. And that was the hardest part. But when you finally told me it might've been,
Maureen (21:37.648)
Mm-hmm.
Travis Griffin (21:49.794)
It might have our second session, maybe our third. When you finally got it sunk into my head that this was not a question of willpower, this was a question of information. That, actually you had a better statement because you're a nerd like me and you quoted Spider-Man, said with great knowledge. Hell, I talked it all up and I don't even remember what the frick it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah, something like that.
Maureen (22:06.106)
Yeah.
Maureen (22:10.96)
Comes great responsibility.
Travis Griffin (22:18.54)
With great knowledge comes great responsibility. You gave me literally a pass up until that moment. You said, look, it wasn't a question of willpower. You're not weak. You're not a terrible person. Your confidence may be shot right now, but this is some of the impact of alcohol. But ultimately, it's the impact of what you were trying to escape and numb from, which we did get into. But when you said,
Hey, once you learn that, once you learn that this is not willpower, once you learn about how that toxin is integrating into your system and how much your system now has to work to get that toxin out and you're going to fatigue and you're to do all these other things that your body and mind could be doing productively or prosocially, those things are out the window now because your body's working on trying to rid yourself of these toxins.
And if you overdid it, like I did every night, it's really working hard. So it didn't leave much left. No wonder I was exhausted. No wonder I had no self care. No wonder I would piss my wife off. No wonder I would embarrass myself in front of my children. I had no mental or physical energy left to give. So when you told me that great, all right, now you know, give yourself a pass, we're moving on.
But now that you know, it's up to you to do something with it, or it's up to you to make the choice of how you're going to deal with that knowledge. And so from that day on, I feel like it really became a viable solution.
Maureen (24:00.878)
Yeah, you can't unsee it or unknow it once we start talking about how alcohol affects your brain chemistry, how it takes up so much mental real estate from the morning when you get up and beat yourself up about why you drank, and then you start thinking about drinking again, and then you try to manage your drinking. It's so much thought into it. So when you learn that compiled with the science and why you're doing it, then you can make an informed choice. Then you can say,
Is this in alignment with the person I want to be? You know, and then we can start working on the tools to help you replace alcohol. Because when you remove alcohol, you have to replace it with other things to regulate your central nervous system to help make you feel better. And you did those things, you know, we would work on them and you would come back and tell me what you're doing. And as a matter of fact, one of those things was working out.
You always wanted to work out and you were sporadically doing it, but you really started building back into your workouts. And I'd love to talk a little bit about that because Travis sent me a picture. I asked for a headshot for this podcast. He sent me a picture from two years ago. I said, no, no, no, no, we need an updated one because you don't even look like that anymore. And he just sent me another one is drastically different. So can you share?
You know, what has changed for you, everything from body composition, weight to cardiovascular health, to your desire to work out and eat right.
Travis Griffin (25:29.636)
Wow. Yeah, where to begin on that? You know, I'm 48. You know, I am limited on how much I can lift. I am limited on how much cardio I can do. But you know, when you're really limited, when you have a hangover and you've lost six days of your work day, six hours of your work day, just trying to survive and
Maureen (25:45.293)
You were limited.
Mm-hmm.
Travis Griffin (25:58.702)
There's no time to effectively work out. There's no time to improve yourself. But, and I'm sure you can speak to it better, but when you work out, at least for me, that was my time. It became my self care. No one bothered me. I built a little home gym. I started doing it during COVID and I just kept adding on and it's super cool now. And I could, I could spend all day in there and I would just love every second of it. Not that I could, cause I'd
Maureen (26:16.612)
You did.
Travis Griffin (26:28.469)
fall apart in multiple pieces. I do strength training three days a week. I got into boxing cardio kind of efforts two to three times a week. And I upped my step count. And I could do all these things because, like we talked about, my body was no longer spending time fretting, either
Maureen (26:29.806)
Ha ha ha.
Travis Griffin (26:55.832)
Guilty about the night before or fretting about the upcoming night. It was all it was. It was 12 hours of one and then 12 hours the other. And meanwhile, just... A lot of real estate, a lot of computer function being spent on lamenting and pining or whatever that is. And when all of that is now gone, you just, you have...
Maureen (27:04.176)
Yeah. A lot of mental real estate, a lot of body working on it.
Mm-hmm.
Maureen (27:17.06)
Yeah, yeah.
Travis Griffin (27:24.868)
Grace was something you helped me truly learn. I'd heard that. Give yourself grace. Give yourself grace. Blah, blah, blah. It doesn't mean anything until you get it. And it took me a while to get it. A lot of things just are words of advice. But when you truly accepted that you're an imperfect soul and you forgive yourself for doing what every other human has done in some fashion or another.
Maureen (27:28.09)
Give yourself grace, yeah, compassion.
Travis Griffin (27:55.857)
and you look and see the matrix, which we'll talk about, I'm sure. You just...
Maureen (28:00.167)
Yeah. So, so many, I just want to interrupt you because you covered so many good things there. So I just want to let people know, no, no, no, we got, because Travis and I can talk like forever. You changed your body composition. And also I want to make it clear to everybody that, yeah, that's right. I want to make it clear to everybody that he didn't just like all of a sudden start doing three days a week boxing and three days a week lifting. This was a transition. And as he stopped drinking and healing,
Travis Griffin (28:05.751)
Sorry.
Travis Griffin (28:13.868)
Alright, sexy. We were talking about how sexy I was.
Travis Griffin (28:23.127)
No, no.
Maureen (28:28.42)
he slowly ramped up and at first he had to deal with the fact, right, that your body was healing and it felt hard. It's not like it was easy overnight. You were persistent though and kept putting one foot in front of the other and slowly built out your fitness regimen. And I also remember in the beginning when you stopped drinking, Pop Tarts were a thing for you, like lots of sugar, lots of sugar. And I would say, you know, that's for right now, that's okay.
Travis Griffin (28:51.3)
hell yeah, yeah a kryptonite
Maureen (28:58.308)
because you were getting so much sugar with alcohol, your body's looking for it in another way. know, sugar and alcohol run the same reward pathway in the brain. Have the pop tarts right now, because the number one thing was to stop drinking. And then eventually you phased out the pop tarts and started eating healthier. And so just tell everybody your change in body composition and weight and everything, because you've just done an amazing job.
Travis Griffin (29:04.206)
Yes.
Travis Griffin (29:22.062)
Yeah. So, and you're right. And I want to, I want to be honest and transparent that first couple of months as I dropped the alcohol and I mean dropped, was, I did it in a way you were giving me more grace. You, were allowing me to make the decision to taper. I felt that that was not going to work for me. So we just stopped. but yes, I replaced that with sweets and sugar.
Maureen (29:27.44)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen (29:37.84)
Mm-hmm.
Travis Griffin (29:51.524)
And man, Pop Tarts, I Pop Tarts like I drank, you know, Brunello or something like that. They were coming every shape, size and flavor. And I definitely put on weight. And you're right. I replaced that sugar with another sugar, but it was the lesser of two evils, right? At first. And then the Pop Tarts left. So yeah, I was about 235-ish, 230 in January last year. And I'm...
Maureen (29:53.357)
there.
Maureen (30:06.296)
At first, right.
Travis Griffin (30:21.22)
At 220 now, but my body fat percentage dropped 9%.
I'm down to 21 % body fat which I've never remotely been close in my entire life, and I just love it. I feel great There are so many good side effects of not having alcohol. It's not even funny, and it's every aspect of your life your relationships everything So yeah super sexy now Obviously as your viewers can see but yeah lost I didn't I lost a little bit of weight But I really replaced the weight with muscle
Maureen (30:41.498)
Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah.
Maureen (30:57.36)
You got lean. You're very lean. Yeah. Cut. Yep.
Travis Griffin (30:57.54)
And I got lean, I got to get new clothes, and I just feel great day in, day out.
Maureen (31:07.876)
Yeah. So Travis is now at a year alcohol free. I want to make sure everybody understands that we've been working together over this time period and he has done this consistently over time, taking all the steps. And we would also work through his cognitive, you know, his thoughts and beliefs around alcohol while we were working on the physiology. And one of the things you just brought up was the matrix. so Travis and I are both sci-fi geeks. So we related over that. And one of my favorite analogies,
Travis Griffin (31:13.024)
yeah.
Maureen (31:37.632)
is the Matrix. If any of you are listening and know the Matrix movie and Neo, he got out of the Matrix and he saw the truth of what was going on inside the Matrix. So I always say to Travis and many of my clients who get it, you have stepped out of the Matrix and you are now living a different life. And all your friends who are still drinking, that's what they want to do, right? They're still in the Matrix. But that's why you're starting to see things differently and feel things differently.
you don't want to go back in the matrix. I ask people, do you want to go back in? No, I don't want to go back in. So then you have to learn how to adapt like Neo, right?
Travis Griffin (32:14.21)
It's it's a, it's the perfect analogy, but I'll be really honest. We talked about it for months, but it wasn't like, it wasn't till about two or three months ago where it just finally clicked because I really did feel like I had stepped out of a different life. And I was finally, I like to use the words in control loosely because who really is, but I was finally, on top of this problem.
Maureen (32:38.778)
Mm-hmm.
Travis Griffin (32:44.532)
and I could see the business, the industry of alcohol and alcoholism and what they produce were alcoholics for what it was. And just a big ass expensive money making lie. So yeah, so the matrix, it's like you're walking around, everybody's green, those weird lines are dropping down, but you see
Maureen (33:01.207)
Yeah, it's all about money.
Travis Griffin (33:14.22)
you see everything in that way and everybody else is just going about their business. So yeah, a perfect analogy to escape that feeling.
Maureen (33:16.59)
early. Yeah.
Maureen (33:23.95)
Yeah, I love that analogy. And I want to share with listeners and I won't go into detail, but I'll just share, know, and also Travis endured a lot of life hardships while he stopped drinking, things that people would normally say, you should have a drink, right? Travis, I mean, you went through the death of your father and that was very hard.
Travis Griffin (33:45.656)
Yeah, that was super tough. No one's ever ready for that kind of thing. And not only is my father passing, but it's...
Maureen (33:51.642)
Mm-hmm.
Travis Griffin (34:00.0)
That's the first time you might be the first time you truly see the inevitability of life itself. And so not only do you get the emptiness and sorrow and sadness from your father passing, but you are now exposed to this is going to end someday. How do you want to live the rest of your life? And so I flew out there and I was with him.
Maureen (34:23.888)
Hmm.
Travis Griffin (34:29.956)
as it as it happened and we got to chat and you know all that kind of stuff but if there was ever gonna be a time yeah this is this is five months in to the six months in to this and if there was ever a time that I even talk to myself I said I'm gonna give myself permission to drink if if that's what comes up
Maureen (34:35.918)
Yeah. But you were present, you were clear.
Travis Griffin (34:58.146)
Still not truly understanding it, right? But if there was ever a time that was gonna happen, it was gonna be then. But it just didn't feel right. And I just didn't feel that it was gonna help anything. And I didn't want it. And the longer this goes, the longer you stop, the less and less you want it. All the things that you're afraid of missing, we talked about FOMO. FOMO is maybe the largest part of your fear of stopping.
Maureen (35:22.128)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen (35:26.746)
Yes.
Travis Griffin (35:27.012)
Like, what am I going to miss out on?
Maureen (35:29.828)
What will people think? Will I be any fun? How can I have fun?
Travis Griffin (35:31.716)
You got it, but it's steps. It's, my favorite word is scaffolding. You do it with toddlers. You teach them a thing. You don't say, Hey, take out the garbage and then walk away. You say, Hey, these are the steps you need to do to take the garbage and get it in that basket over there or whatever. so that is the same approach I took with this baby steps, starting with pop tarts and, ending with, you know,
Maureen (35:52.304)
process.
Travis Griffin (36:01.56)
a wonderful, amazing relationship with my wife that just gets better every day. I feel like I can at least, both of my sons were engaged in this effort. I shared with them the stuff. mean, they're old enough to share that with and they rooted me on and they've asked about it. Hey, when your kids that are teenagers or older ask you about things, about yourself, I mean, that's pretty...
Maureen (36:05.444)
Yes.
Maureen (36:15.258)
Mm-hmm.
Travis Griffin (36:30.19)
That's pretty amazing stuff. it was a good feeling. Do you feel motivated to continue? So there was all this other external stimuli, having a good support system and being vulnerable is not the worst thing in the world. You can be vulnerable and you'd be surprised at the goodness that can come around you when you're vulnerable. Be just being yourself and being real with people.
Maureen (36:31.94)
Yeah, that's a win.
Maureen (36:57.36)
That's such a big mindset shift. And when you see that, everything can change. And I wanted to bring up one other thing you did because at the end of the year, we knew you were going on a cruise. And so that was going to be sort of the big hurdle as far as entertainment, vacation. This was always sort of one of your triggers was getting dressed up, going somewhere nice, having lots of quote unquote nice, expensive wines to choose from. So that was a big test.
Travis Griffin (37:09.571)
Yeah.
Maureen (37:27.512)
And you just got back from that. How'd that go?
Travis Griffin (37:29.986)
Yeah, we knew that that was coming up as a Disney cruise. It wasn't just any cruise. It was a Disney cruise. was all, it was all inclusive. All the best alcohol. Okay. I said best. I'm saying it as my mind self from last January, all the, all the stuff, all there to drink, whatever. I was incredibly worried. In fact, I wasn't even looking forward to an actual vacation because I was so worried about
Maureen (37:35.269)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Maureen (37:42.178)
You caught yourself. Right.
Maureen (37:52.826)
Mm-hmm.
Travis Griffin (37:59.724)
would I be able to deal with this or would even if I was able to deal with it, would I be able to enjoy myself or was I just going to worry and fret all day about alcohol or crave it, you know, those kinds of things. But that was 10 months away. I wouldn't recommend trying to do this. If you were leaving on a cruise in two weeks, probably wait till you get back. That would not be a baby step.
Maureen (38:20.196)
Right. That would not be a baby step.
Travis Griffin (38:27.448)
But so that was just the approach we worked toward that and you had to strip away all those fears. You had to strip away this idea that you were actually missing out on something. And then eventually when you figured out that you weren't missing out on something, you got to start figuring out that you were actually cluing into something. Like there was like, there was this negative thinking for the first several months of this.
Maureen (38:50.768)
Hmm.
Travis Griffin (38:57.176)
for me. It was like, what am I going to miss? How am I going to socialize? How am going to hang out with my friends? How are we going to go out to dinner and not have a drink? What are we going to talk about? All valid things that I think a lot of people probably experience. those are just fears and fears are not facts. Those are just fears that as you scaffold and make progress, those fears seem less important.
Maureen (38:57.754)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Maureen (39:12.125)
yeah, 100%.
Travis Griffin (39:26.744)
because you replace them with look at the things I get to do now. We have saved it. Yeah, you build confidence. We've saved a crap ton of money in alcohol and going out. We have found other hobbies that we like to do together where neither of us are in vibe info. Let me just state my wife was very, supportive. She stopped drinking on January. I stopped drinking on January 5th. She stopped drinking on January 7th. Now she did not remotely have a problem.
Maureen (39:30.116)
You build confidence,
Maureen (39:46.085)
Yes.
Travis Griffin (39:56.58)
I she's as cool a cucumber as you get and great for those people, know, but she, unicorns, yeah. She stopped drinking on the seventh, two days after I stopped and I didn't ask her to. In fact, you know, I was fine being exposed. Now I was scared, but I was fine and I would avoid situations too. Don't get me wrong. I would avoid stuff.
Maureen (40:02.85)
Unicorns.
Travis Griffin (40:24.974)
but I was fine just trying to go this on my own with her verbal support and emotional support, but she literally stopped and she, today's the ninth. I don't know when this will air, but she just passed her one year. So we've had one year of flipping the script of things we thought we'd miss out on into things we get to do. Hey, we haven't died in the
Maureen (40:37.808)
Wow, congratulations to your wife.
Maureen (40:44.293)
Yes.
Travis Griffin (40:55.149)
Drunk driving we have a drunk drove in a year. so that's it
Maureen (40:57.316)
Right? Right? Right? You didn't have to get Ubers. But I want to say, you brought up some really great points. You had fear in the beginning. There was a lot of discomfort. There was, you know, I don't know, FOMO, but you worked through those, right? There is going to be discomfort, but that's part of our work together was learning how to be with the uncomfortable feelings and not being fear motivated, but instead, you know, what else could be true? And...
Travis Griffin (41:16.302)
Yeah.
Maureen (41:25.582)
What if I did this and am I really missing out on taking in the toxin and being hung over the next day? So we switched FOMO to JOMO, right? Joy of missing out. You we talked about this. But it worked. It takes work.
Travis Griffin (41:30.52)
You're right.
Travis Griffin (41:36.484)
Jomo, yes, Jomo. Yeah, you taught me to flip that. for the first few months, was fear-based. Let's avoid, let's avoid, let's avoid, let's avoid while you're making slow progress. But once you get to that median point and you start looking at that Jomo idea, it just definitely became a lot easier because you got to see
Maureen (41:55.172)
Mm-hmm.
Travis Griffin (42:04.692)
through different eyes. These eyes were no longer covered by how am going to avoid drinking in this situation too. One, do I even want to go to the situation? I went to those situations as an excuse to drink. Do I even need to go there? And oftentimes that answer is no. No, I want to do something else. So a lot better dates with my wife, a lot more investment with her work.
Maureen (42:13.764)
Yes.
Right, right. Yeah.
Maureen (42:22.842)
Yeah.
Maureen (42:28.165)
Hmm.
Travis Griffin (42:33.348)
a lot more time for myself and hell of a lot better role model for my sons. But that didn't come right away. It just takes work and it takes asking the questions or answering Maureen's questions, trying to strip away these fallacies that you have not only about yourself, but what you're missing and how you're not a failure and these kinds of things.
Maureen (42:51.428)
Yeah, the lies.
Travis Griffin (43:02.916)
that it will take work, but it gets easier. It certainly did.
Maureen (43:06.884)
And so what would you say to someone else who right now, especially in January, people are thinking a lot about changing their drinking and how did, you why go through coaching instead of trying to just do it on your own or do an app?
Travis Griffin (43:22.67)
Well, first off, you can't do it on your own because you haven't to this point. Just go ahead and admit that you can't do it on your own. For the few unicorns out there that can, more power to them. They're the all stars. But if you're listening to this podcast and you are still drinking, you probably can't do it on your own. So just go ahead and admit it. It's cool. There's probably a million people watching this right now. A million people just learned my story. Right?
Maureen (43:45.829)
Mm-hmm.
Maureen (43:50.006)
I wish there was a million people. yeah, it's yeah, I'm right up there.
Travis Griffin (43:52.42)
Is it a billion? Oh, okay. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. You know, you don't even have to call Maureen. You don't have to talk to her on the phone. You can just go to her website thing and type in the console, pick the date and time, know, block that time out on your calendar and just have a conversation. Find out if this is going to be a good fit for you. Maybe it is, maybe it's not.
But either way, you're going to have taken a step toward recovery right then and there because that first thing you need to do is just admit that you can't do this on your own. I tried multiple apps. I tried tally marks. once I got the 12 tally marks, I would spend some money on a nice shirt or something. No, I buy a shirt.
that's stupid but I would spend my money on something cool but it didn't work either. There was nothing to replace true knowledge and true core of why you were doing this in the first place. Now she will help talk to you about you know personal baggage and those kind of things you share whatever you want to share but she also can speak to that in generalizations too.
because a lot of people may have different stories, but the concept and the construct of it is the same. So just talking about that and knowing you're not alone and someone who's been through it herself just really validates that you're in the right place. If you've tried AA and it didn't work and you've tried some of those other things and it didn't work, this is one-on-one.
Maureen (45:33.306)
Yeah.
Travis Griffin (45:49.73)
In fact, I just re-upped to do a group thing, because I just want to be a part of a group. Not only have I learned how to do this, but I have learned that I care about individuals that are struggling with this. And you probably know a billion of those individuals. They just don't say anything. You just don't see it. But I'll bet you, more often than not, the people that are in the same circles, that are drinking and doing the same things you are,
Maureen (46:04.152)
Yeah, pass it on.
Maureen (46:17.412)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Travis Griffin (46:18.116)
they're probably struggling as well. one of those things I've gotten to do now is when I hear about someone struggling, cannot wait to listen. I cannot wait to just listen and tell them they're okay. And I'm not trying to give them advice, just be a listener. So being able to give back pro-socially at the end of all this is probably the best part because you want to now, you want to help somebody else.
Maureen (46:44.302)
Yeah, you want them to know the truth too. Yeah, exactly.
Travis Griffin (46:45.636)
So I understand why you got into business. So it's a great feeling to help people learn a thing about.
Maureen (46:53.154)
It is. I love it when I work with someone like you who puts in the work and shares and is willing to trust and be vulnerable. And you've transformed in every way. And you just proved what you said. You want to help people by coming on here and sharing your story. And I can't thank you enough. It's been an absolute pleasure to work with you and just makes me so happy to see how much you've changed and grown and who knows what this year is going to be like. I can't wait to see.
Travis Griffin (47:21.508)
So thank you. best money I've ever spent and the best help I've ever... Like I said, I've been in therapy for over a decade for various things here and there, and it's been helpful. nothing helped me like this did because it helped me get to the root of the problem and it helped me know I wasn't alone and it helped me...
Go ahead and expose myself and hold myself accountable.
Maureen (47:54.564)
Yeah, and stop drinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Travis Griffin (47:55.566)
That was, and stop drinking. It helped me stop drinking. And the tendrils of what you were drinking impacts is immeasurable. And just imagine not drinking and all those tendrils and all those things that's impacting all of a sudden it's not impacting those. Sky's the limit. I'll just end with my relationship with my wife and I mean in all the facets.
Maureen (48:05.872)
far reaching.
Maureen (48:16.1)
Yeah, I agree.
Travis Griffin (48:24.012)
It's just amazing. It's a reawakening. It's just the best. So if you're in a marriage and you're in a situation like this and you're struggling in certain areas, holy mackerel, stripping this away. You wouldn't believe how much it can impact.
Maureen (48:38.03)
and you're drinking. Yeah.
Maureen (48:43.424)
I can't ask for a better ending than that. So thank you so much, Travis, for coming on and sharing your story. And I look forward to you being in the group. That's going to be great.
Travis Griffin (48:49.796)
course.
Alright.
Maureen (48:54.224)
So I.
